Living with ADHD – A Brief Overview

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, is one of the most well-known types of neurodivergence. 

For years this was thought to be mostly a “boy’s disease”; almost every child diagnosed was a young, school-age boy between the ages of 5-18. But recent studies have helped clarify that ADHD affects everyone a little differently.  

It can present as an external, hyperactivity/impulsivity type – these are the people that can’t sit still for long, are always talking, and always be doing something new, exciting, and fun. The fun-loving, carefree friend that is always on the move, knows everyone, and can’t seem to settle in one place for long. 

ADHD can also present more internally, though, as an inattentive type; especially in girls, people of color, or those that consider themselves gender fluid or diverse. Internalized ADHD often is not “visible”; it affects mental focus and clarity and rapidity of thought. 

Both types can also combine and overlap, leading to a complex presentation of and meshing of the different “deficits”.  

Key Characteristics of ADHDers 

Regardless of internal or external type, there are several key characteristics that most ADHDers (people with ADHD) have in common. Many of these are considered deficits per the predominantly medical view of ADHD as a medical disability, but they can also be strengths when reframed to ADHD as a social or cultural disability instead. 

Some of these key characteristics are: 

• Lack of focus, or inattentiveness – often considered a deficit due to an inability to stay on task, lived experience tells a different story. Yes, this can be a lack of focus, an inability to organize thoughts and stay on task. Many times though, it is more a lack of stimulation; ADHD brains need constant stimulation and input, or they will find it elsewhere – usually through tasks or projects that they find more “fun” 

• Excessive movement or stimming – refers mostly to the hyperactive/impulsive type of ADHD 

• Executive functioning issues – these are many and varied, but often tied into task starting and completion. Many ADHDers find starting large or complex tasks daunting; even thinking about starting the task can lead to “task paralysis” that shuts down the ability to plan and execute a strategy 

• Social difficulties – both types experience various social difficulties, mostly stemming from an inability to judge tone, volume, and when or how to interject into conversations. Many ADHDers are told they tend to “take over” conversations, though it isn’t something they are conscious of doing. They’re just passionate about the subject 

With an estimated 10-15% of the world population having ADHD, the idea that it’s just a childhood “disorder” or something that can be medicated away is short-sighted. 

Our understanding of the underlying neurological differences in those with ADHD has come a long way since it was first identified. And alongside prescriptions and therapy, there are a growing number of ways to support yourself or a loved one with ADHD. 

Coping With ADHD “Symptoms” – And Why It’s Not Really a “Disorder” 

Our understanding of what ADHD is and is not has come a long way since it was first recognized as a “disorder”. And chief among that is a changing way of viewing what makes it a “disorder” in the first place. 

Originally this was a medical label, a way to try and quantify and control “unruly”, “unstable”, or “unproductive” individuals in the classroom or workplace. By labeling problem people (usually children) with a disorder, medical professionals were able to research medicines that can help “control symptoms”. And those medications do help – but they are not the only way to support someone with ADHD. 

Lifestyle changes can be a big support. Our lives are centered around the idea of being “productive”, but there is little understanding in what and how we are expected to be productive. We are just always supposed to be “on”, to be doing something. 

This puts ADHD into overdrive – without a clear directive, a starting and ending point, an ADHDer will continue to push themselves to the next level of “productivity” to the point of burnout and collapse. 

Instead, people with ADHD must learn their limits. This can take the form of coaching, counselling, or therapist led support to unlearn bad habits and relearn what makes them feel safe and supported. 

Just because many traits of ADHD are considered to be “deficits” or part of the “disorder”, doesn’t make them so. They can be useful tools in the arsenal a person with ADHD uses to handle work and life. 

Reframing Deficits as Useful Skills 

That “lack of focus” usually describes a brain that is making connections a mile a minute. People with ADHD are much more likely to, and faster at, making seemingly random connections between ideas and concepts. This leads to huge leaps in innovation – just look at Sir Isaac Newton and the apple. 

Not being able to sit still or always fidgeting can be hard when you are forced to stay static for hours at a time each day. But it can make you great at sports, dance, or other movement-based tasks.  

Always talkative, bubbly personalities are very disruptive in quiet spaces. But they are the people you want to talk to and be around at parties and get togethers. They always know what is what, have great stories to tell, and know how to keep their audience guessing and laughing. 

Not all facets of ADHD are easy to reframe as positives. But many of them are not the “death sentence” mainstream science made out for so many years. 

The biggest setback for any person with ADHD is society and society’s expectations of “normal”. And all that takes is challenging the status quo and refusing to change yourself for the majority. 

So – Are You ADHD or Not? 

Regardless of where you stand, whether formally diagnosed, self-identified, questioning, or researching for a friend or family member – what now? 

How are you going to move forward with this new knowledge? 

If you wish to learn more, check out my page on “Understanding Neurodivergence” for a (short) list on resources and suggestions on where to find more. 

There are so many resources and communities out there. ADHDers are here to stay. We are not odd, weird, abnormal, or broken. We are real human beings, with real thoughts and feelings. We want to fit in, if the so-called “normal” people will let us. 

But we don’t need their approval to exist. We just need space to be ourselves, because we are enough as we are.